LUDIC LIVE

As happens every so often, I got the urge this weekend to put my bloated music collection to the public good, and I asked various social-networking acquaintances, which is what we have now instead of friends, to suggest themes around which I would build them a mixtape.  Or playlist.  Whatever you like to call it, grandpa.  Herewith:  the results.

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DIRTY MOUTH FLOW:  79 nasty minutes

Suggested by my dear friend @solipsiae.  I am an old man and do not have the sex anymore, but goodness knows I am always willing to help my younger and more attractive chums to “get some”, or “get some more” as the case may be.  The request was for raunchy, filthy hot-weather hip-hop, and considering that I am an aged semi-Cacausian shaped like an elderly python that has somehow managed to eat a gazelle, I can supply this in abundance.  My selections:

• 1.  “Black Thighs”, the Last Poets (The Last Poets, 1970)
• 2.  “Lights Turned On”, Childish Gambino (EP, 2011)
• 3.  “Whatcha Wan Do?”, DJ Quik & Kurupt (BlaQKout, 2009)
• 4.  “Give It to Me”, Mobb Deep (Blood Money, 2006)
• 5.  “Aural Pleasure”, Blackalicious (Blazing Arrow, 2002)
• 6.  “Give Me tha Ass”, the Beatnuts (Stone Crazy, 1997)
• 7.  “Come On & Come”, Devin the Dude (To tha X-Treme, 2004)
• 8.  “My Lovin’ is Digi”, the RZA (Bobby Digital in Stereo, 1998)
• 9.  “Dirty Girl”, Felt (Felt, Vol. 2:  A Tribute to Lisa Bonet, 2005)
• 10.  “Real Women”, UGK (Underground Kingz, 2007)
• 11.  “So Good”, Pharoahe Monch (Desire, 2007)
• 12.  “X-Tasy”, Missy “Misdemeanor” Elliott (Miss E…So Addictive, 2001)
• 13.  “Love Thirst”, Jean Grae (Jeanius, 2008)
• 14.  “Chez Moi”, Casey (Tragédie d’une Trajectoire, 2006)
• 15.  “Mama Lova”, Oxmo Puccino feat. Kheops (Mama Lova, 1997)
• 16.  “Shake Ya Ass”, Mystikal (Let’s Get Ready, 2000)
• 17.  “Big Girl, Skinny Girl”, CX-Kidtronic feat. Rockola (Krak Attack, 2006)
• 18.  “Da Girlz They Luv Me”, RA the Rugged Man (Die Rugged Man Die, 2004)
• 19.  “Talk Like Sex, Part 2”, the Smut Peddlers (Porn Again, 2001)
• 20.  “Hands on Experience Part 2”, High & Mighty feat. Kool Keith, Bobbito Garcia & MC What-What (Home Field Advantage, 1999)

COMMUNIST, ROYALIST, ANARCHIST:  23 colors clash

The suggestion here, by the mighty @perich, was “black and white and red all over”.  I tried all kinds of ways to get clever with these:  songs about newspapers/journalists?  Songs about black revolutionaries, white nationalists, and dirty commies?  In the end, as you see, I went the boring route, but tried to mix it up a little by having each track refer to more than one color.  My selections:

• 1.  “Black and White”, RA the Rugged Man (Die Rugged Man Die, 2004)
• 2.  “Blackout”, Method Man & Redman (Blackout!, 1994)
• 3.  “White Heaven/Black Hell”, Public Enemy (Muse Sick-n-Hour Mess Age, 1994)
• 4.  “Black Ink on Black Paper”, Agoraphobic Nosebleed (Honky Reduction, 1998)
• 5.  “White Nigger”, Eyehategod (Take as Needed for Pain, 1993)
• 6.  “White Magic/Black Magic”, Saint Vitus (Saint Vitus, 1984)
• 7.  “White Heat, Red Hot”, Judas Priest (Stained Class, 1978)
• 8.  “Black Sunshine”, White Zombie (Sexorcisto:  Devil Music, Vol. 1, 1992)
• 9.  “The Red & the Black”, Blue Öyster Cult (Tyranny and Mutation, 1973)
• 10.  “Black Math”, the White Stripes (Elephant, 2003)
• 11.  “Cherry Red”, Earthless (Rhythms from a Cosmic Sky, 2007)
• 12.  “Red Sun”, Thin White Rope (In the Spanish Cave, 1988)
• 13.  “I See Red”, X (More Fun in the New World, 1983)
• 14.  “Black and White”, the dB’s (Stands for Decibels, 1981)
• 15.  “Red Hot”, Billy Lee Riley & His Little Green Men (Sun single, 1957)
• 16.  “Black River”, Green on Red (Gas Food Lodging, 1985)
• 17.  “Redway”, the Ass Ponys (The Known Universe, 1996)
• 18.  “Black & White World”, Elvis Costello & the Attractions (Get Happy!!, 1980)
• 19.  “Dead Red Eyes”, the Archers of Loaf (White Trash Heroes, 1998)
• 20.  “Black Skinned Blue Eyed Boys”, the Equals (Strikeback, 1970)
• 21.  “My Little Red Book”, Love (Love, 1966)
• 22.  “Don’t Call Me Nigger, Whitey”, Sly & the Family Stone (Stand!, 1969)
• 23.  “You’re Sorry Now”, the Bellrays (Red, White & Black, 2005)

IT’S A LONG STORY:  500 years in 4526 seconds

This one was harder than I thought it would be:  @natepatrin suggested story-songs that take place over a long period of time.  Not only was it hard to come up with a lot of these, but it was also difficult to avoid the overly familiar as well as the overlong (elaborate story songs tend to occupy elaborate 10-minute tracks).  For the record, these songs take place over 7 years, 50 years, one month, four months, three years, two months, several years, 70 years, 22 years, 10 years, over 500 years, 15 years, over a decade, around 50 years, a decade or so, close to 20 years, several months, and around 20 years, respectively.  My selections:

• 1.    “6 in the Morning”, Ice-T (Rhyme Pays, 1987)
• 2.  “50 Years”, All Natural (No Additives No Preservatives, 1997)
• 3.  “I Left My Wallet in El Segundo”, A Tribe Called Quest (Peoples’ Instinctive Travels & the Paths of Rhythm, 1990)
• 4.  “Sick 2 Def [Acoustic]”, Plan B (Run the Road, 2006)
• 5.  “My Fondest Childhood Memories”, Macy Gray (The Trouble with Being Myself, 2003)
• 6.  “Tupelo”, John Lee Hooker (The Great Bluesmen at Newport ‘59, 1960)
• 7.  “Satan Gave Me a Taco”, Beck (Stereopathic Soulmanure, 1994)
• 8.  “The Band Played ‘Waltzing Matilda’”, the Pogues (Rum Sodomy & the Lash, 1985)
• 9.  “1967”, the Auteurs (How I Learned to Love the Bootboys, 1999)
• 10.  “Roland the Headless Thompson Gunner”, Warren Zevon (Excitable Boy, 1978)
• 11.  “The Great Nations of Europe”, Randy Newman (Bad Love, 1999)
• 12.  “I Love Bob”, the Ass Ponys (Grim, 1993)
• 13.  “My Sister’s Tiny Hands”, the Handsome Family (Through the Trees, 1998)
• 14.  “I Told Her Lies”, Robbie Fulks (South Mouth, 1997)
• 15.  “Tennessee Stud”, Flathead (Flathead, 1996)
• 16.  “One Piece at a Time”, Johnny Cash (At Folsom Prison, 1968)
• 17.  “Lucy & Jack”, Moonshine Willy (Pecadores, 1996)
• 18.  “Daddy’s Cup”, the Drive-By Truckers (The Dirty South, 2004)

TRACK THREE:  20 monster metal tracks it takes two licks to get to

This one, from @davexmachina, was so easy it was basically impossible.  He asked for songs that were the third track from whatever album they first appeared on, which seems simple, but I have so many records, there are hundreds of good track threes.  So, because it’s my party and I can thrash if I want to, I decided to make this all metal track threes.  So there!  My selections:

• 1.  “Leva”, Witchcraft (The Alchemist, 2007)
• 2.  “Easy Livin’”, Uriah Heep (Demons and Wizards, 1972)
• 3.  “Cherry Red”, Earthless (Rhythms from a Cosmic Sky, 2007)
• 4.  “Freya”, The Sword (The Age of Winters, 2006)
• 5.   “The Prisoner”, Iron Maiden (The Number of the Beast, 1982)
• 6.  “Peace Sells”, Megadeth (Peace Sells…But Who’s Buying?, 1986)
• 7.  “Schitzo”, Venom (Welcome to Hell, 1981)
• 8.  “Stone Dead Forever”, Motörhead (The Bomber, 1979)
• 9.  “Where the Light Has Failed”, Skeletonwitch (Breathing the Fire, 2009)
• 10.  “Striking Death”, Fueled By Fire (Spread the Fire, 2007)
• 11.  “The Dread Command”, Warbringer (War without End, 2008)
• 12.  “Spirit in Black”, Slayer (Seasons in the Abyss, 1990)
• 13.  “I am the Graves of the ‘80s”, Darkthrone (Circle the Wagons, 2010)
• 14.  “Destroyer of the Universe”, Amon Amarth (Surtur Rising, 2011)
• 15.  “Reaping Death”, Watain (Lawless Darkness, 2010)
• 16.  “Carving Out the Eyes of God”, Goatwhore (Carving Out the Eyes of God, 2009)
• 17.  “All Go No Emo”, Wormrot (Dirge, 2011)
• 18.  “After All I’ve Done for You, This is How You Repay Me?”, Harvey Milk (Life…the Best Game in Town, 2009)
• 19.  “Torching Koroviev”, Khanate (Khanate, 2001)
• 20.  “Miami Morning Coming Down II (Shine)”, Earth (The Bees Made Honey in the Lion’s Skull, 2008)

WAITING FOR THE END OF THE WORLD:  21 songs for 5/21

In honor of the apparently imminent return of Jesus on May 21st, and the subsequent destruction of the planet, @vondoviak asked for a Doomsday playlist.  Ordinarily, this would be easy-peasy, given that I have shitloads of metal albums, and metalheads write about Armageddon almost as much as they write about Satan and orcs.  But I tried to tailor it to Scott’s taste, and he doesn’t like gargling and screaming and people trying to shove their guitars through a shredder as much as I do, so I ended up with this one instead.  My selections:

• 1.  “Celebration for the Death of Man”, Agalloch (Mantle, 2002)
• 2.  “When the Revolution Comes”, the Last Poets (The Last Poets, 1970)
• 3.  “The Day the Devil”, Laurie Anderson (Strange Angels, 1989)
• 4.  “Final Solution”, Pere Ubu (Blank single, 1976)
• 5.  “Def.Con.One”, Pop Will Eat Itself (This is the Day…This is the Hour…This is This, 1989)
• 6.  “11:11”, the Ass Ponys (Mr. Superlove, 1990)
• 7.  “No One Lives Forever”, Oingo Boingo (The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 OST, 1986)
• 8.  “Only the Stones Remain”, the Soft Boys (Underwater Moonlight, 1980)
• 9.  “Endless Armageddon”, Toxic Holocaust (Overdose of Death, 2008)
• 10.  “You’re All Gonna Die”, Venom (Cast in Stone, 1997)
• 11.  “The Last Man Alive”, the Grifters (Ain’t My Lookout, 1996)
• 12.  “The End’s Not Near (It’s Here)”, the New Year (The End is Near, 2004)
• 13.  “Hey Brother”, Camper van Beethoven (New Roman Times, 2004)
• 14.  “Jesus Christ”, Slim Cessna’s Auto Club (Always Say Please and Thank You, 2000)
• 15.  “John the Revelator”, Curtis Stigers & the Forest Rangers (Sons of Anarchy:  North Country EP, 2009)
• 16.  “It’s Gonna Be Death”, Urban Inbreed (Twenty Sorrows, 2004)
• 17.  “Will Jesus Wash the Bloodstains from Your Hands?”, Hazel Dickens (It’s Hard to Tell the Singer from the Song, 1987)
• 18.  “I’ll Never Get Out of This World Alive”, Hank Williams (Honky Tonkin’, 1952)
• 19.  “Two Sevens Clash”, Culture (Two Sevens Clash, 1977)
• 20.  “Is That All There Is?”, Peggy Lee (Is That All There Is?, 1969)
• 21.  “Yawny at the Apocalypse”, Andrew Bird (Armchair Apocrypha, 2007)

SPRINGSTEENAGE WASTELAND:  21 workers and no bosses

As requested by @False_Rumors, I was asked to make a “Springsteen mix with no actual Springsteen”.  Covers seemed to be the obvious route here, but instead, I decided to do songs of working-class angst and romance gone south that seemed sort of Springsteenian, but by bands with no multimillionaires from New Jersey.  Springsteen songs, in other words, if Bruce Springsteen wasn’t Bruce Springsteen.  My selections:

• 1.  “Sometimes the Line Walks You”, Murder By Death (In Bocca al Lupo, 2006)
• 2.  “Whiskey Talk”, Guadalcanal Diary (Flip-Flop, 1989)
• 3.  “Shively Spleen”, the Babylon Dance Band (Four on One, 1994)
• 4.  “Factory Belt”, Uncle Tupelo (No Depression, 1990)
• 5.  “Two-Week Vacation”, the Embarrassment (Retrospective, 1983)
• 6.  “Jesus and Tequila”, the Minutemen (Double Nickels on the Dime, 1984)
• 7.  “Capitalist Joyride”, Unrest (Teenbeat 50, 1993)
• 8.  “She Pays the Rent”, the Lyres (Some Lyres, 1983)
• 9.  “Jesus Revisited”, Dead Hot Workshop (1001, 1995)
• 10.  “Federal Dust”, the Silver Jews (American Water, 1998)
• 11.  “Choose a Side”, the Connells (Boylan Heights, 1987)
• 12.  “Call of the West”, Wall of Voodoo (Call of the West, 1983)
• 13.  “Goddess on a Highway”, Mercury Rev (Deserter’s Songs, 1992)
• 14.  “Master & Dog”, Quasi (Hot Shit!, 2003)
• 15.  “Piss Factory”, Patti Smith (Mer single, 1974)
• 16.  “No More Workhouse Blues”, the Palace Brothers (Days in the Wake, 1994)
• 17.  “Sam Stone”, John Prine (John Prine, 1971)
• 18.  “Scratch Ticket”, the Scud Mountain Boys (Massachusetts, 1996)
• 19.  “The Waitress Song”, Freakwater (Old Paint, 1995)
• 20.  “Harlan Man”, Steve Earle & the Del McCoury Band (The Mountain, 1999)
• 21.  “9-to-5ers Anthem”, Aesop Rock (Labor Days, 2001)

MURDERER BALLADS:  22 killer songs by real killers

Lastly but not leastly, @brendenwhalley asked for murder ballads by real murderers.  It was downright impossible to find more than two or three of these, so I weaseled out by including only songs by actual killers.  It ain’t much, but it’s cherry.  My selections:

• 1.  “Apache”, the Incredible Bongo Band (Bongo Rock, 1972)
• Jim Gordon, the drummer on this track (also for Derek & the Dominos), beat his mother to death with a hammer.
• 2.  “Pick a Bale a’Cotton”, Leadbelly (The New York City Recordings, 1935)
• Leadbelly killed a relative of his in a fight over a woman.
• 3.  “Parchman Farm Blues”, Bukka White (Okeh single, 1940)
• White beat a man to death, but was only convicted of assault.
• 4.  “The Risin’ Sun”, Texas Alexander (Okeh single, 1928)
• Alexander murdered his wife.  Bluesmen were a bunch of bad motherfuckers, I tell you what.
• 5.  “Oh Lawdy Mama”, Buddy Moss (ARC single, 1934)
• Moss also shot and killed his wife, although it was widely believed by many that he didn’t really do it.
• 6.  “I’ve Grown So Ugly”, Robert Pete Williams (Free Again, 1961)
• Williams shot a man dead in a Louisiana barroom brawl; he claimed it was self-defense.
• 7.  “Death Letter”, Son House (Paramount single, 1930)
• House likewise killed a man in a juke joint shoot-up he claimed was an act of self-defense.
• 8.  “Skinny Woman”, R.L. Burnside (Arhoolie single, 1967)
• Burnside never denied that he shot a man during a craps game, but claims he didn’t necessarily mean to kill him.  
• 9.  “I’m Gonna Murder My Baby”, Pat Hare (Sun single, 1954)
• Hare, well, murdered his baby (his girlfriend, that is), as well as a cop sent to investigate the crime.
• 10.  “Fever”, “Little” Willie John (King single, 1956)
• A popular R&B singer convicted of manslaughter after knifing a fan following one of his concerts.
• 11.  “Man in the Street”, Don Drummond (More Intensified! Vol. 2, 1963)
• Legendary ska musician who murdered his girlfriend and died in prison less than a year later in mysterious conditions.
• 12.  “Fattie Boom Boom”, Ranking Dread (Greensleeves single, 1981)
• Reggae performer who was also the enforcer for a drug gang; convicted of one murder, but may have killed over 30.
• 13.  “More Bounce to the Ounce”, Zapp (Zapp, 1980)
• Larry Troutman, from this popular funk band, killed his brother Roger (also a band member) and then himself.
• 14.  “Down for My Niggaz”, C-Murder (Trapped in Crime, 2000)
• Beat and shot a teenage fan, and was then subjected to widespread mockery due to his chosen stage name.
• 15.  “Guerillas in the Midst”, Da Lench Mob (Street Knowledge, 1992)
• J-Dee from this g-funk outfit was convicted of murder for a shooting, but claims innocence.
• 16.  “Cry Me a River”, Claudine Longet (We’ve Only Just Begun, 1971)
• Shot her boyfriend, an Olympic skier; she has always claimed it was an accident.
• 17.  “Swinging the Devil’s Dream”, Spade Cooley & His Western Swing Gang (Swinging the Devil’s Dream, 1946)
• Cooley, an abusive asshole by anyone’s standard, beat his wife to death in front of their daughter.
• 18.  “Fun with Acid”, Fang (Landshark, 1982)
• Minor-league Bay Area punk band whose talentless lead singer strangled his girlfriend in a drug haze.
• 19.  “Shout at the Devil”, Mötley Crüe (Shout at the Devil, 1982)
• Vince Neil was convicted of vehicular manslaughter for his role in the drunk-driving death of Razzle Dingley.
• 20.  “Black Spell of Destruction”, Burzum (Burzum, 1992)
• Varg Vikernes, the man behind Burzum, put a knife through the skull of ex-bandmate/black metal bigshot Euronymous.
• 21.  “I am the Black Wizards”, Emperor (In the Nightside Eclipse, 1994)
• Emperor’s then-drummer, Faust, stabbed a gay tourist to death for no particular reason.
• 22.  “Entry of the Globbots”, Joe Meek & the Blue Men (Magnetic Field EP, 1960)
• Meek shot his landlady with a shotgun and then killed himself in a fit of depression.

Happy Mixtape Mookie 2011, everybody!